music
mostly tool
i will choke until i swallow… choke this infant here before me.
what is this but my reflection?
who am i to judge and strike you down?
but you’re pushing and shoving me.
you still love me and you pushit on me.
rest your trigger on my finger, bang my head upon the fault line.
take care not to make me enter.
’cause if i do we both may disappear.
but you’re pushing me, shoving me.
pushit on me.
slipping back into the gap again.
i’m alive when you’re touching me, alive when you’re shoving me down.
but i’d trade it all for just a little bit of piece of mind.
put me somewhere i don’t wanna be.
seeing someplace i don’t wanna see.
never wanna see that place again.
saw that gap again today as you were begging me to stay.
managed to push myself away, and you, as well.
if, when i say i may fade like a sigh if i stay, you minimize my movement anyway, i must persuade you another way.
there’s no love in fear.
staring down the hole again.
hands upon my back again.
survival is my only friend.
terrified of what may come.
just remember i will always love you, even as i tear your fucking throat away.
but it will end no other way.
disgustipated by tool. an awesome track from the aenema album.
and the angel of the lord came unto me, snatching me up from my place of slumber.
and took me on high, and higher still until we moved to the spaces betwixt the air itself.
and he brought me into a vast farmlands of our own midwest.
and as we descended, cries of impending doom rose from the soil.
one thousand, nay a million voices full of fear. and terror possesed me then.
and i begged, “angel of the lord, what are these tortured screams?”
and the angel said unto me, “these are the cries of the carrots, the cries of the carrots!
you see, reverend maynard, tomorrow is harvest day and to them it is the holocaust.”
and i sprang from my slumber drenched in sweat like the tears of one million terrified brothers and roared, “hear me now, i have seen the light! they have a consciousness, they have a life, they have a soul! damn you! let the rabbits wear glasses! save our brothers!”
can i get an amen?
can i get a hallelujah?
thank you jesus.
life feeds on life feeds on life feeds on life feeds on…….. this is necessary.
it was daylight when you woke up in your ditch.
you looked up at your sky then.
that made blue be your color.
you had your knife there with you too.
when you stood up there was goo all over your clothes.
your hands were sticky.
you wiped them on your grass, so now your color was green.
oh lord, why did everything always have to keep changing like this.
you were already getting nervous again.
your head hurt and it rang when you stood up.
your head was almost empty.
it always hurt you when you woke up like this.
you crawled up out of your ditch onto your gravel road and began to walk, waiting for the rest of your mind to come back to you.
you can see the car parked far down the road and you walked toward it.
“if god is our father,” you thought, “then satan must be our cousin.”
why didn’t anyone else understand these important things?
you got to your car and tried all the doors.
they were locked.
it was a red car and it was new.
there was an expensive leather camera case laying on the seat.
out across your field, you could see two tiny people walking by your woods.
you began to walk towards them.
now red was your color and, of course, those little people out there were yours too.
opiate by tool from there opiate album. i listened to this song 3 times in a row on the way to work today and then once again followed by 46&2 on the way home.
choices always were a problem for you.
what you need is someone strong to guide you.
deaf and blind and dumb and born to follow,
what you need is someone strong to use you…
like me,
like me.
if you want to get your soul to heaven,
trust in me.
don’t judge or question.
you are broken now,
but faith can heal you.
just do everything I tell you to do.
deaf and blind and dumb and born to follow.
let me lay my holy hand upon you.
my god’s will
becomes me.
when he speaks out,
he speaks through me.
he has needs
like I do.
we both want
to rape you.
jesus christ, why don’t you come save my life.
open my eyes and blind me with your light
and your lies.
46&2 by tool from their ænima album. this song has been running through my head for the past week or so now. great song. great lyrics.
my shadow’s shedding skin and i’ve been picking scabs again.
i’m down digging through my old muscles looking for a clue.
i’ve been crawling on my belly clearing out what could’ve been.
i’ve been wallowing in my own confused and insecure delusions for a piece to cross me over or a word to guide me in.
i wanna feel the changes coming down.
i wanna know what I’ve been hiding in
my shadow.
change is coming through my shadow.
my shadow’s shedding skin
i’ve been picking my scabs again.
i’ve been crawling on my belly clearing out what could’ve been.
i’ve been wallowing in my own chaotic and insecure delusions.
i wanna feel the change consume me, feel the outside turning in.
i wanna feel the metamorphosis and cleansing I’ve endured within
my shadow
change is coming.
now is my time.
listen to my muscle memory.
contemplate what I’ve been clinging to.
forty-six and two ahead of me.
i choose to live and to grow, take and give and to move, learn and love and to cry, kill and die and to be paranoid and to lie, hate and fear and to do what it takes to move through.
i choose to live and to lie, kill and give and to die, learn and love and to do what it takes to step through.
see my shadow changing,
stretching up and over me.
soften this old armor.
hoping I can clear the way
by stepping through my shadow,
coming out the other side.
step into the shadow.
forty six and two are just ahead of me.